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Hey ryanri123,

My guess is that even though you love your girlfriend, and this is something you feel like you really want to do, that you also realize that this is a HUGE step to take.  Even when you use condoms or birth control, there is a still a risk of things like pregnancy and STDs.  It is perfectly logical to be aware of that in the back of your mind.  You probably know that not having sex is the only 100% sure way to prevent pregnancy and STDs…so as much as you feel like you want to, there is still some hesitation.

The only person who can tell you why your girlfriend is saying (or writing) the things that she says is your girlfriend.  These are the things that you need to discuss with her.  If you are thinking about having sex with a person, you should be able to talk to that person about anything.

I hope this is helpful!

Hi,

So my boyfriend and I have been talking about having sex for a while and we plan on doing it in the near future. We are both virgins (and STD free!!), and even though we are both ready, I’m a bit nervous that something could break or leak and I end up pregnant. The reason why I’m so concern is that the woman in my family are very fertile– no one has any trouble with getting pregnant. So one slip, and WHOOPS! Here comes baby! (I seriously don’t want that to happen). So here are my questions:

1) If a woman is very fertile, would she have a greater chance of getting pregnant, even with a condom?

2) Is it a good idea to invest in buying not only a lubricant condom, but also a Today Sponge/ birth control/ Plan B just in case something goes wrong even though it’ll be super expensive (ugh)? Or am I thinking WAY to much about this and as long as we use the male condom correctly we’ll be fine?

3) Even if a condom is used correctly, can it still leak?

4) How much is birth control usually? We have a Planned Parenthood clinic in the town I live in, but I personally don’t earn enough money to pay for birth control and gas and everything else I need. Also, I was on Yasmine a few years ago and became sick off of it (it was horrible). If I decide to use birth control, I’m able to get tested to make sure I don’t get sick again, correct?

Ok, I know I asked a lot of questions, but I am really curious and nervous and I really want/need to know these things. I’ve already done a ton of research on the internet about different kind of condoms/ how to use condoms correctly/ and where I can get Plan B in the town I live in as well as my boyfriends in case of an emergency. These are basically the only questions I couldn’t find answers to (besides the price of birth control, but I want to hear that from someone reading this, if that’s understandable) and I really, really don’t want to ask my parents about the fertile thing because, well, they are my parents and my boyfriend and I are still in high school.

Please help put my nerves to a end! I want our first time to be fun and enjoyable and not “Omg! I’m so nervous!!! Did it break!? CHECK IT NOW!”

Thank you!