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Hi kaykee94,

Regardless of whether we’ve had any kind of sex before, that doesn’t mean a whole lot about whether we’ll have good sex with a specific person. Different people like different things so there’s no one right way to do things, and no one thing that everyone loves or hates. So I would not worry too much about whether you’ll meet some kind of mythical “standard” during sex.

It sounds like you’re doing some really great thinking about what you want and need, and in some ways you’ve had pretty good communication with this guy. You’ve agreed on what kind of relationship will feel good for you, so then the next steps would be making sure that you’re both on the same page about it going into it. That probably should involve you being honest about your sexual history, and it should definitely involve a conversation around safer sex. If he just wants sex but then is not willing to help protect your health (not to mention his health) by using protection, that would be a huge red flag that this might not be someone who is worth your time and energy.

Here’s some more info about asking a partner to use a condom:

http://www.sexetc.org/faq/love_relationships/1053