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Hi theritegirl,

People get turned on by lots of different things. The most common thing when it comes to sexuality is that there’s a whole huge diversity in what people find attractive. There are lots of people out there who get turned on by watching a partner have pleasure. That’s nothing strange in the least.

I think the important thing here is that each of you are comfortable with what’s going on. It sounds like, for you, having him ejaculate is really important and something that you find to be super important in sex. But, then, what about what he’s comfortable with? If you get upset with him if he doesn’t “perform” in a certain way, that can put unfair pressure on him, and an unfair expectation that his body will always act in a certain way. It’s important that both of you feel comfortable with what’s going on. So I think it’s cool that you have something that you really enjoy, but it’s also important to make sure that you’re not putting your partner into a situation where he feels uncomfortable or shamed.

As for him talking about you if you break up, that’s something that would be between the two of you. I think that talking to him about your worry might be helpful so that you can be on the same page about what each of you likes and each of you wants so you can keep that communication open.