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Hi LouiseGrace,

Chances are there’s nothing wrong with you, but I think it’s always a good idea to check in with a medical provider if you’re concerned about anything or feeling pain. Has anything ever been inserted inside your vagina before, including tampons? If you’ve been able to have other things inside of you without issues then it’s more likely a mental thing, like psyching yourself out or feeling anxious about what’s up.

Some things to keep in mind are thinking for yourself about whether you really feel ready to be doing these sorts of things, sexually. Here’s a link with some more info to help you think about whether you’re feeling ready:

http://www.sexetc.org/faq/sex/694

If you’re feeling ready, you’ll want to make sure that things move at a pace that is comfortable for you, and doesn’t feel rushed. If there’s not enough lubrication then it can be hard to have anything inserted into the vagina. Some people find that using a water based lubricant can help with this.

What kind of communication do you have with your partner in the moment? If something doesn’t feel good, what happens? Talking about the situation with your partner so the two of you can figure out how to respond and what to do is really important so that people don’t end up feeling frustrated.

There’s no one activity that everyone automatically does or should love. It’s really a personal thing. So if you’re finding that whatever you’re doing isn’t working for you, or isn’t fun, there’s no reason you need to keep doing it. Talking with your partner about his or her needs and desires as well as being open about yours can start off a conversation that will hopefully lead the two of you to having a sexual relationship that’s fulfilling and pleasurable for both of you.

Hi teenageheart,

Queefing is caused when air gets into the vagina and then something else goes inside of it and the air is pushed out. There’s nothing wrong with that happening even if some people find it a little awkward. Any position where your butt and your hips are up and your head is down it’s more likely to happen because those positions open up your hips and vagina more.

Going more slowly can sometimes reduce the chance of that happening, but outside of trying another position where your hips aren’t so elevated there’s no great way to keep it from happening.

Some people experience this a lot, and others not so much. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, so the best bet really may just be to recognize that it happens, laugh about it if it’s funny, and move through it.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months now and she decided she’s ready for sex. Now, she’s a virgin and I’m not, so she expects me to know everything (She’s 20, I’m 19). Last night she said she wanted to do it so we fool around for about 20 mins, and when its time to insert my penis I realize that she is so tight my middle finger can barley fit up in. (I had avoided fingering her before so as to avoid breaking her hymen). Now, not to brag, but I have a fairly large penis and have to wear large sized condoms (over 5.5 inches of girth), so I got a little worried about the physics of this situation. I just barely got maybe a quarter of an inch of my head into her and she couldn’t take it, so I took it back out. (She was fully wet so lack of “excitement” was not an issue). To get a better “angle of attack” I prop her butt up on a pillow and have her get her legs as far apart as possible, and I try to insert again. I ease (and I mean really ease) it into her again and slowly slide it back and forth until the whole head is in and then she cant take it and I pull it out again. This goes on for 2 WHOLE HOURS of different positions, fooling around again and again to get re-excited, a whole bunch of lube, then finally we just gave up. She gave me an HJ and I fooled with her, then we went to bed cause it was midnight and I had an 8 o’clock class.

Anyways, I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience and had any advice to lend me, since I’ve never had sex with a virgin before or a girl with this tight of a vagina for that matter. She gets plenty wet, we used lube to try to get my member slippery. I also know after the first bit of pain she got a little nervous which I also hear doesn’t help the situation.

Any help is appreciated!

Hi georgia3,

Any time that ejaculate, which contains sperm, comes into contact with the vulva or vagina, there’s a chance of pregnancy. If protection, such as a condom or hormonal birth control, was not used, then there is a larger risk of pregnancy.

It sounds like you’re not completely sure about what happened, or what body parts or fluids went where. That makes it harder to figure out how much of a risk you had.

If you’re hoping to avoid pregnancy at this time, you may want to consider a reliable form of birth control that can help reduce your risk of pregnancy. That way, it can help remove some of the stress from wondering if you might get pregnant from what you were doing. Here’s an article with some more information about various forms of birth control so you can see if any of them would work well for you and your lifestyle:

http://www.sexetc.org/story/birth_control/2082

“The first time I had sex is something I regret very much. Now that I think about it, I was very young and naive and irresponsible. I believe that I was under the…”

—Lee, 17, Oregon

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Alright, so when i masturbate, I cum… and while masturbating, I can cum in under 2 min.

But when my girlfriend is giving me head, hand job, or anything, it takes a ridiculously long amount of time (20 min, still nothing). My girlfriend has never made me cum on her own, (or any girl at that) and I always have to start jacking off, then when I’m close, she takes over and finishes it.

Why is it so quick when I’m doing it, and when she/any girl does it, it takes longl? Everything she does feels great and i want to cum, but i dont.

PS: I’ve experimented and I’m not gay… the same situation happens when a guy is giving me head.

“No matter how much you like a guy or how much he says he loves you, don’t let him take over your mind. Think for yourself, and speak up when you know something is wrong.”

—Fran, 14, New Jersey

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Hey guys , basically I have this bf, he’s like 6 foot 4, 16, we’ve been in love for 2 years now, but we started taking it to the bed stage recently and it ain’t been working well.

Its cos his dick is really big and it hurts me a lot, it’s something like 8 or 9 inches and wide as well, and it just hurts so much. Hes such a nice guy, he didn’t force me into owt, it was probly me, but I told him I couldn’t sleep with him anymore, and he doesnt know why, and it might wreck our relationship :(:(

I haven’t a clue what to do, it seems like theres no way to solve this, im so pissed off. If this chance goes I dunno when Ill ever get another bf, I love him so much.

THANKS GUYS, PLEASE ANSWER :p thanx xx

“This friend of mine got a check up because he thought something was wrong with him. He didn’t think it would be an STD. He thought it would never happen to him, but it did.”

—Rosaura, 17, New Jersey

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Hi theritegirl,

Everyone is different and people have a wide variety of desires and turn-ons. There’s nothing really weird about being attracted to someone’s body, or the idea of someone’s body. As for whether that’s OK within the relationship you’re in, that’s up to you and your partner. Fantasy can be a really healthy outlet for people, but then each individual has different feelings about their fantasies and whether they think they are OK. I don’t think there’s anything weird about what you’re doing, but if it makes you uncomfortable I’d encourage you to talk with your boyfriend about it.